Cristiano Ronaldo was suspended for five matches after an incredibly stupid incident in the pre-season.

Then, dude returned in a rather bold way.

Real Madrid is the clear favorite in the Champions League Group D pool play, and their first match outta the gate was against a Cypriot team that's just glad to pick up appearance money.

That'd be APOEL Nicosia.

They'd be the first crew to acknowledge that the Portuguese international's skills can go from iced to thermal in mere moments. Click over to The Daily Player to see why.

Speaking of, if you ever feel the need for thermal services, take a look at this insulated, multi-compartment tailgating tote bag:

insulated, multi-compartment tailgating tote bag

Note how we loaded that top compartment with healthy nosh. Is that a sign we're enlightened, or what! Just know that a hella lotta Cheetos fit in there, too.

Then there's the bottom compartment. Feel free to note that quality adult beverages may easily be substituted at your option:

insulated multi-compartment tailgating tote bag

Can you believe all this -- and utensils, if someone brings ice cream or pie -- is all yours for the how do they do it price of $55.99?

We can't, either. But hell, you're worth it!

It ships free, too. And we take Bitcoin. What's not to like? See you at checkout.

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